Eeriest Abandoned Amusements Parks in the U.S.
Why waste your entire summer standing in long lines at fully-operational, legally accessible amusement parks when for little money and an impending tetanus shot you can visit the following abandoned gems that once welcomed thousands of visitors but now lie dormant, waiting only to scare the thrill-ride crap out of you…
Land of Oz (Beech Mountain, North Carolina)
Whether in the movie or books, “Oz” always seemed like a thoroughly disturbing place that you should only go to by accident or natural disaster, not from careful vacation planning and a three-day pass. Designed to keep people coming to Beech Mountain after ski season (perhaps with the promise of being snatched by flying monkeys), the Land of Oz did brisk business until 1975, when Emerald City burned down to the ground. (This is what happens when your “Wizard” turns out to be nothing but a con man.) The place has fallen into increasingly unsettling disrepair ever since, allowing trespassers to be greeted by such characters as this “Faces of Meth” version of an Ent…
Lake Shawnee Amusement Park (Princeton, West Virginia)
Featured on the Travel Channel’s “Most Terrifying Places in America” series (so you know we’re already off to a good start), Lake Shawnee Amusement Park is widely considered a “playground for ghosts,” because even the dead have to do something with their kids on weekends. Part of this is because the park was responsible for a reported six deaths, causing it to shut down, rot, and become the perfect photo op for your Instagram “Ghastly” filter (see above). And part of it is because the park was built on the exact spot a farmer’s family had been slaughtered by a Native American tribe. And where Native Americans were in turn slaughtered by the farmer. And all of this is marked by a historic sign (see below) that greeted visitors to the park, perhaps to warn them what could happen if they start mouthing off about long lines or $8 hot dogs.
Miracle Strip Amusement Park (Panama City, Florida)
A rather recent addition to the abandoned amusement park category (closed 2004), Miracle Strip has used its short time to get damn eerie damn fast. That’s mostly thanks to its large character structures that once welcomed countless parents and their screaming, terrified children. Examples include the above “Dante’s Inferno” ride, which once beckoned visitors to enter Satan’s mouth and now appears to be waiting for someone named “Paul” to be swallowed for all hellish eternity. Or for those who like a chillier reception, you can happen upon the derelict “Abominable Snowman” ride seen below, whose leering namesake seems to be eagerly expecting someone to walk between his legs so he can defecate a pile of lumber and scattered track work on them. Of course, all this is much better in the dead of night, when it must seem at any point Satan and Abominable will get tired of waiting for guests and just walk towards you instead.
Chippewa Lake Park (Chippewa Lake, Ohio)
”The old fortune teller lies dead on the floor. Nobody needs fortunes told anymore.” And so with the promise that there’s no future, wanderers are welcomed to the rotting remains of Chippewa Lake Park. Founded in 1878 (when most of the rides must have had names like “Jump out of Tree” and “See if You Can Ride a Pig”), the park opened and re-opened time and time again under new management until it finally closed for good in 1978, leaving the found memories of repeated financial failure for future generations to stumble upon, including a Ferris wheel that actually seems to be hiding behind trees so it can pounce on you…
…And a half-submerged roller coaster that appears to promise the greatest thrill ride begins the moment you drown in a swamp…
Holy Land USA (Waterbury, Connecticut)
Nowhere dos the phrase “forsaken by God” seem more on the nose than in the crumbling remains of Holy Land USA (situated in the heart of the Old Testament, just southwest of Hartford, Connecticut). Designed to fulfill someone’s dream of combining Six Flags with the Ten Commandments, the park’s now deserted rides resemble every single time God chose to smite his enemies or at least their spinning teacups. Even happening upon the ruins of the Garden of Eden recreation makes one wonder if Adam and Eve would now try to get ejected from there on purpose. And today nothing reminds you of the park’s initial plan to spread the word of God and it’s current position as a haunted church but with far more acreage than stumbling upon the following image in the middle of the night…
The Prehistoric Forest (Irish Hills, Michigan)
What if at the end of “Jurassic Park” the survivors looked out at the island from the helicopter and realized all the fearsome creatures were actually large-scale paper mache sculptures with no sense of scale but a lot of dead-eyed craziness? That’s what it’s like to walk into the fossilized/rusted/shredding remains of The Prehistoric Forest, where you can see (above) raptors feasting on what is either a fallen, bloody reptile or a tagged boulder. Or, should your scientific curiosity really be piqued, venture further into the woods to see what would happen if the Age of the Dinosaurs had come to an end not so much by the impact of a comet but rather the knife of a prehistoric serial killer…
