1. When they accidentally call you by your sibling’s name.

“I’m Andy. Your son. Emily is my sister. Your daughter.”

2. When they mispronounce your significant other’s name for, like, the 1,000th time.

“It’s Kylie, Dad. Not Carly, not Christy. Kylie.”

3. Or, worse, when they call your S.O. by the name of your ex.

“All the joys of life are not worth the trauma of this moment.”

4. PDA = Parental Displays of Affection.

UNWANTED. UNWANTED.

5. When you’re out to eat, and the waiter mistakes you for Dad’s girlfriend, and your mom for his mother.

“Ex… ‘cuse… me?!”

6. Basically any time they use social media.

At least Mom loves both children equally. In real life and on the social web.

7. Especially when they put embarrassing photos of you on Facebook.

8. When they tell the story of your… creation.

Especially if they tell it when all of you are at the place where… you know.

9. When they give you a little TMI about their medical “conditions.”

“Will you live? That’s honestly all I need to know.”

10. When they get into a political discussion with your significant other.

It’s like watching a train wreck. In slow motion. Forever.

11. When they make an inappropriate comment in mixed company.

No words. There are no words.

12. And finally: when they ask you about cultural phenomena.