{"id":1795,"date":"2014-05-14T15:36:43","date_gmt":"2014-05-14T19:36:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.usedtobeabastard.com\/?p=1438"},"modified":"2014-05-14T15:36:58","modified_gmt":"2014-05-14T19:36:58","slug":"definitive-ranking-diet-killers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/definitive-ranking-diet-killers\/","title":{"rendered":"The Definitive Ranking Of Diet Killers"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Definitive Ranking Of Diet\u00a0Killers<\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

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31.<\/span> Opening a 100 Calorie Pack, and then another, and another (and another).<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Opening<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

i.walmartimages.com<\/a><\/div>\n

Seriously, who can eat just one of these stupid little packs?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

30.<\/span> Goldfish crackers.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Goldfish<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: shoot-art<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

They\u2019re not even that good. OK, they are. Bastards.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

29.<\/span> Giving in and having a hot dog at a baseball game.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Giving<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: 49864606@N04<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

It\u2019s practically un-American not to.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

28.<\/span> Cheese.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Cheese.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: anneh632<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

All diets start with you saying, \u201cHold the cheese,\u201d then end with you holding cheese and cramming it into your mouth.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

27.<\/span> A bowl of M&M\u2019s sitting on a counter and staring at you with puppy dog eyes.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"A<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: vernhart<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

26.<\/span> Going to the Cheesecake Factory for their Skinnylicious menu and making a bad choice somewhere along the way.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Going<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: cliff_robin<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

25.<\/span> Chipotle<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Chipotle\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: khaz<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

You meant to get a bowl without cheese, but\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

24.<\/span> Convincing yourself you can have a giant plate of pasta to carbo-load for a workout you don\u2019t end up having.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Convincing<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: tamaki<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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23.<\/span> Cupcakes.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Cupcakes.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: muyyum<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

These things are everywhere nowadays, and pose a serious threat to any diet.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

22.<\/span> Shopping at Costco when all the samples are out.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Shopping<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: krynsky<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

21.<\/span> When you snap at Starbucks and order a Frap with lots of whipped cream and chocolate.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"When<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: pgneto<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

\u2026and then give the barista a fake name to hide your shame.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

20.<\/span> \u201cFun-size\u201d candy.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\""Fun-size"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: number657<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have just one,\u201d you tell yourself. Yeah, right.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

19.<\/span> Mac \u2018n\u2019 cheese.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Mac<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: 427<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

A few weeks into your diet you start to crave comfort food.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

18.<\/span> When you have nothing but diet food in the house and remember that a man will bring you egg rolls if you just pick up the phone.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"When<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: piratejohnny<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

17.<\/span> Doritos.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Doritos.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: 61095495@N00<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

This squirrel was down 15 ounces until the Doritos cravings became too strong.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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16.<\/span> Noticing a new Ben & Jerry\u2019s flavor in the frozen food aisle en route to the Lean Cuisines.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Noticing<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: heatherweaver<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

15.<\/span> Movie theater popcorn.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Movie<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: jeffgunn<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

You tried watching a movie without snacks and you did not like it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

14.<\/span> Shopping at the mall when you catch a whiff of Cinnabon.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Shopping<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: revrev<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

It takes some serious will power not to answer that siren call.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

13.<\/span> Bacon.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Bacon.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: cookbookman<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

Just bacon.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

12.<\/span> Passing a Taco Bell at 2 a.m. after a night out.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Passing<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: voteprime<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

11.<\/span> Driving past a Krispy Kreme at the very moment they turn on the \u201cHot Now\u201d sign.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Driving<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: ableman<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

10.<\/span> When it\u2019s the birthday of Earl from accounting and you\u2019d look like a dick if you didn\u2019t have a slice.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"When<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: james_chuas<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

Freaking Earl.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

9.<\/span> This Cookie Butter crack they sell at Trader Joe\u2019s.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"This<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: meginsanity<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

You went to pick up some healthy food, then blacked out and woke up in a dingy motel room next to an empty jar of this stuff.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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8.<\/span> Whenever free, warm bread is put on your table at a restaurant, especially Red Lobster.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Whenever<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: beleaveme<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

Free bread is a problem at a lot of restaurants<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

7.<\/span> When your niece or neighbor\u2019s kid pressures you into buying their Girl Scout cookies.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"When<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: coralspringstalk<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

You order six boxes of Thin Mints and eight boxes of Samoas. You know, for the kids.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

6.<\/span> McDonald\u2019s fries.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"McDonald's<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: shane_ronemus<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

You can live without the burgers, but the fries haunt your dreams.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

5.<\/span> Alcohol.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Alcohol.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: pinguino<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

High caloric alcohol + lowered impulse control = Adi\u00f3s, diet!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

4.<\/span> Pizza.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Pizza.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: sethw<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

The end begins with your friend saying, \u201cWe ordered pizza, but I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019ve got some carrot sticks in the fridge you can eat.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

3.<\/span> Warm chips right out of the fryer at a Mexican restaurant.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Warm<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: mhaithaca<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

It\u2019s just not fair, really.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

2.<\/span> Nutella.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Nutella.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: gymnasticks<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

When you start rationalizing \u201cNutella isn\u2019t chocolate, so\u2026\u201d you\u2019re done for.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

1.<\/span> Appetizers.<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"Appetizers.\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Flickr: robenjoyce<\/a> \/ Via Creative Commons<\/div>\n

No. 1 rule of Gremlin ownership: Do not feed them after dark. No. 1 rule of being on a diet: Do not order an appetizer. NEVER ORDER AN APPETIZER!<\/p>\n

Source:buzzfeed<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Definitive Ranking Of Diet\u00a0Killers   31. Opening a 100 Calorie Pack, and then another, and another (and another). i.walmartimages.com Seriously, who can eat just one of these stupid little packs? 30. Goldfish crackers. Flickr: shoot-art \/ Via Creative Commons They\u2019re not even that good. OK, they are. Bastards. 29. Giving in and having a […]
Continue reading…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2923,"url":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/definitive-ranking-things-will-test-parents-patience\/","url_meta":{"origin":1795,"position":0},"title":"The Definitive Ranking Of Things That Will Test A Parent\u2019s Patience","date":"June 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The Definitive Ranking Of Things That Will Test A Parent\u2019s Patience \u00a0 25. Getting trapped under a sleeping baby. Flickr: cdejabet \/ Via Creative Commons This is really only annoying when you have to pee. 24. Waiting for your kid to tie their shoes. Flickr: celinesphotographer \/ Via Creative Commons\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"This and That\"","img":{"src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/s3-ec.buzzfed.com\/static\/2014-06\/13\/20\/enhanced\/webdr02\/enhanced-9944-1402704843-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4795,"url":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/17-milestones-wont-find-baby-books\/","url_meta":{"origin":1795,"position":1},"title":"17 Milestones You Won\u2019t Find In The Baby Books","date":"December 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"1. Climbs onto something ridiculously high. instagram.com You\u2019ll be horrified, yet strangely impressed. 2. Writes on the wall. instagram.com This is an expensive way to see how developed your kid\u2019s motor skills are. 3. Hides car keys. Flickr: melinnis \/ Via Creative Commons You\u2019ll never let your baby play with\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"LOL\"","img":{"src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/s3-ec.buzzfed.com\/static\/2014-12\/2\/18\/enhanced\/webdr11\/enhanced-13951-1417563654-11.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2590,"url":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/everything-wanted-know-gluten\/","url_meta":{"origin":1795,"position":2},"title":"Everything You Wanted To Know About Gluten","date":"June 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Everything You Wanted To Know About Gluten But Were Afraid To\u00a0Ask For those who are afraid to look even more dumb in Whole Foods. Q: Flickr: klallier \/ Creative Commons A: Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye. It\u2019s that thing that helps dough rise, making your\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Recipes\"","img":{"src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/s3-ec.buzzfed.com\/static\/2014-04\/enhanced\/webdr06\/10\/13\/edit-3993-1397152253-7.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1795"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1795"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1808,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1795\/revisions\/1808"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}