{"id":1551,"date":"2014-04-27T18:09:17","date_gmt":"2014-04-27T22:09:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.usedtobeabastard.com\/?p=1210"},"modified":"2014-04-27T18:09:17","modified_gmt":"2014-04-27T22:09:17","slug":"things-mom-totally-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/things-mom-totally-right\/","title":{"rendered":"Things Your Mom Was Totally Right About"},"content":{"rendered":"
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And your mother\u2019s signature dish might have magical medicinal properties science has yet to understand. But your tummy certainly does.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
You never know when you\u2019ll need to use one.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
No puddle is too deep, no favor too large, and no gap too wide.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
And<\/i> they help you get what you want.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Ugh\u2026 amphibians can be such pigs.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Mom understood that all creatures act according to their nature. Cats, cows, guys at the bar\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Closed-toe shoes were invented so people didn\u2019t have to smell feet anymore. Don\u2019t be parading yours around.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n mgm.com<\/a> \/ liverde.tumblr.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n mgm.com<\/a> \/ liverde.tumblr.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n You will<\/i> get cold at some point while you\u2019re away from your home. She has never<\/i> been wrong about this.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Posture is important. You will look taller, more confident, and more handsome.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Remember how you and your high school sweetheart were \u201cmade for each other?\u201d Yeahhhh\u2026 maybe not so much.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n5.<\/span> You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince.<\/h2>\n
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6.<\/span> No one buys the cow if they can get the milk for free.<\/h2>\n
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7.<\/span> Wear sunscreen.<\/h2>\n
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No, but really: WEAR SUNSCREEN!!<\/i><\/h2>\n
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8.<\/span> Your feet stink.<\/h2>\n
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9.<\/span> Always. Bring. A. Coat.<\/h2>\n
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10.<\/span> Stand up straight.<\/h2>\n
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11.<\/span> Don\u2019t marry the first person you date.<\/h2>\n
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12.<\/span> And finally: If you\u2019re feeling cranky, you probably aren\u2019t getting enough sleep.<\/h2>\n