“WHO LOVES PIE? YOU LOVE PIE!”
1. “Hosting Thanksgiving won’t be easy but if anyone can do it, it’s you.”
2. “WHO LOVES PIE? YOU LOVE PIE!”
3. “The turkey leg shall be yours this year. Rick can suck it.”
4. “YOU GOT THIS, YOU GOT THIS, YOU GOT THIS.”
5. “If they mention the accident, who cares? Your eyes are yellow now and it’s okay.”
6. “Who’s the best eater? You tha best eater.”
7. “You’re gonna get hugged tonight. A lot. It’s okay, you’ll be okay.”
8. “You will survive the ongoing questions about what you’re doing with your life. You will.”
9. “We’ve been preparing for this moment all year. All the turkey is going in this face.”
10. “You are a catch, it doesn’t matter you’re not getting married.”
11. “You will not blow up at your dad’s nutso political beliefs this year.”
12. “You are beautiful and smart and who cares if Grandma notices you gained a little weight this year?”
13. “You are a righteous beast, you deserve all the pies and wine in the world.”
14. “YAAAAAAASSSS YOU ARE GOING TO CONQUER THIS MEAL!”
15. “Remember: you are Beyoncé Pad Thai and can get through all the picture taking.”
16. “Give me the strength to say ‘no’ without screaming when my mom asks me when I’m having children.”
17. “You can handle this. For the yams.”
18. “This year, I’m thankful for my strength to get through another family meal.”
19. “You WILL channel your faux second stomach and have thirds.”
20. “The Thanksgiving Parade will not destroy you this year.”
21. “Alright, it’s turkey time, motha fuckas.”
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