{"id":1752,"date":"2014-05-12T12:21:28","date_gmt":"2014-05-12T16:21:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.usedtobeabastard.com\/?p=1398"},"modified":"2014-05-12T12:21:28","modified_gmt":"2014-05-12T16:21:28","slug":"11-worst-kinds-neighbors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/11-worst-kinds-neighbors\/","title":{"rendered":"The 11 Worst Kinds Of Neighbors"},"content":{"rendered":"

The 11 Worst Kinds Of Neighbors<\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

1.<\/span> The Upstairs Stomp-Monster<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
cheezburger.com<\/a> \/ Via youtube.com<\/a><\/div>\n

STOMP STOMP STOMP. They\u2019re either practicing their runway walk 24\/7, or constantly moving furniture around, or dribbling a basketball, or OHGODWHATEVERITISWHYWON\u2019TITSTOP?!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

2.<\/span> The Paranoid Weirdo<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"The<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Shutterstock<\/div>\n

Ever get the feeling that someone is watching you? Someone is. And they know you\u2019re up to no good. One of these days, you\u2019re gonna screw up. And they\u2019ll be there to CALL THE GODDAMN COPS.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

3.<\/span> The Loud Sex Neighbors<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
tumblr.4gifs.com<\/a><\/div>\n

Remember how the first time you heard all that yelling and banging you thought someone was being murdered? Remember how now that you know what you\u2019re listening to, you wish it were<\/strong> murder?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

4.<\/span> The Pet Hoarders<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
NMA TV \/ Via nmatv.tumblr.com<\/a><\/div>\n

Oh God. The sound. The smell. The endless massive craps in your yard. The certainty that when they die, they\u2019re going to be skeletonized by their 40 cats. The whole thing is just too much to take.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

5.<\/span> The Borrowers<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
gifbay.com<\/a><\/div>\n

They\u2019ll just take the newspaper from your doorstep, or \u201cborrow\u201d (steal) your bike off your porch, or pick some vegetables from your garden\u2026 and when you confront them, they act like you\u2019re<\/i> the weirdo.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

6.<\/span> The Overly Friendly Neighbors Who You\u2019d Swear Are Hitting on You<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"The<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Shutterstock<\/div>\n

Always inviting you over to \u201cget the friendship going\u2026\u201d But something about it just doesn\u2019t feel\u2026 right. Did they just touch your hand in an overly familiar way? Or are you just being paranoid? Or\u2026 they definitely want you to be in some kind of weird sex club, right? They won\u2019t come out and say it. But something\u2019s up.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

7.<\/span> The Eavesdropping NSA Spies<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
ohmagif.com<\/a><\/div>\n

They\u2019re spying on you. You know this. It\u2019s not clear how they\u2019re listening\u2026 but they\u2019re listening. Bump into them on the street, and it\u2019s a safe bet they\u2019ll ask you questions about stuff you\u2019re DAMN SURE you didn\u2019t tell them.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

8.<\/span> The Loud Fighters<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
gifsoup.com<\/a><\/div>\n

HE isn\u2019t taking this relationship seriously enough. SHE needs to understand that blogging is not the same thing as a job. HE can\u2019t just have his friends show up unannounced and stay over. SHE needs to cool it with the day drinking. YOU don\u2019t need to know any of this, but THEY love screaming 24\/7 and hate closing their windows when they fight.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

9.<\/span> The Neighbor Who Takes the Elevator to 2<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
BuzzFeed<\/div>\n

Not the old guy with the walker, not the pregnant lady, not the dude with groceries. The young dude in the workout clothes who is 100% fit enough to take, you know, ONE GODDAMN FLIGHT OF STAIRS.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

10.<\/span> Mr. I\u2019m-in-a-Band<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"The<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Universal Studios \/ Via starscream-and-hutch.tumblr.com<\/a><\/div>\n

\u201cPractice, practice, practice\u201d is the answer to, \u201cHow do you get to Carnegie Hall,\u201d but also the answer to, \u201cHow do you make your neighbors want to firebomb your stupid house?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

11.<\/span> The Henchman (AKA The Landlord\u2019s Cousin)<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/div>\n

\"The<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Shutterstock<\/div>\n

AKA The guy who lives for free in the windowless basement and works for the landlord in some nefarious, unnamed capacity. And like, he\u2019s probably<\/b> fine, but you can take it to the bank that if there\u2019s ever a murder in the building, he will 100% turn out to be the killer, and all the witnesses are going to be like, \u201cWell, yeah, we always knew something was up with Carl.\u201d And yet nobody. Does. Anything. About. Him.<\/p>\n

Source:buzzfeed<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The 11 Worst Kinds Of Neighbors   1. The Upstairs Stomp-Monster cheezburger.com \/ Via youtube.com STOMP STOMP STOMP. They\u2019re either practicing their runway walk 24\/7, or constantly moving furniture around, or dribbling a basketball, or OHGODWHATEVERITISWHYWON\u2019TITSTOP?! 2. The Paranoid Weirdo Shutterstock Ever get the feeling that someone is watching you? Someone is. And they know […]
Continue reading…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4809,"url":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/worst-christmas-decorations-youve-seen\/","url_meta":{"origin":1752,"position":0},"title":"Are These The Worst Christmas Decorations You've Seen?","date":"December 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Yep. It's that time of year again. 5 minutes after thy neighbors have successfully stuffed themselves to the gills with fat foul those Christmas lights come out.\u00a0 Most of us don't have to go to far to see all the neighbors have to offer.\u00a0 Others may have to venture a\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"LOL\"","img":{"src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/xmas_mine1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1047,"url":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/9-foreign-words-english-language-desperately-needs\/","url_meta":{"origin":1752,"position":1},"title":"9 Foreign Words the English Language Desperately Needs","date":"April 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"9 Foreign Words the English Language Desperately Needs \u00a0 As we have demonstrated before, the English language has some grievous holes in it. We're talking about everyday phenomena that we have all noticed, yet don't have terms for.Fortunately, while we were busy fumbling with hand gestures and illustrations like cavemen,\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"This and That\"","img":{"src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.crackedcdn.com\/phpimages\/article\/8\/9\/3\/117893.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4845,"url":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/sarcastic-people-will-understand\/","url_meta":{"origin":1752,"position":2},"title":"All Sarcastic People Will Understand","date":"January 28, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"1. Your sense of humor could be described as an \"acquired taste.\" NBC \/ Via gifhell.com 2. Sarcasm slips out of your mouth so often that you often forget you\u2019re doing it. FOX \/ Via dont-worry-hayley-is-here.tumblr.com 3. You have to tell people when you're being serious, because they're so used\u2026","rel":"nofollow","context":"In \"Gif's\"","img":{"src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/enhanced-3008-1399928254-9.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1752"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1752"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1752\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1772,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1752\/revisions\/1772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1752"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1752"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dontpokthebear.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}